Days 17 & 18, Chemo Round 2 ::

Getting ready to go... 

I spent this evening in Room 406; Little Jay, Jade, and I had an impromptu play date with 6-year-old Hafiz, another brave young soul on 4 East.  I'd met his mother a couple of weeks ago and shared an elevator with her this evening on my way to the unit after picking Little Jay up from afterschool.  Little Jay spied the new Power Ranger toys she had in hand for Hafiz, so his curious/eager/greedy eyes had already answered "yes" when she asked if he would like to come play with her son.

I'm glad we took the stroll down the hall.  Hafiz is strong. Zahar, his mother, is strong.  Hafiz was diagnosed a little over three years ago with neuroblastoma at the age of three, just a couple of months after his father died unexpectedly.  With a little over a year of treatment, which included chemo, radiation, and a stem cell transplant, Hafiz achieved a remission.  He was in remission for two years -- two years that he got to be a typical four or five year old, playing with his older brother, going to kindergarten.  But then Zahar noticed unusual bruising on him. He was tired when he came home from school. And then his nose started to bleed.  While the doctors at first chalked the bruising up to schoolyard antics, Zahar insisted that her suspicions about a secondary leukemia be disproved... or confirmed.  After enjoying two years of remission, Hafiz was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia. He is now recovering from his first round of chemotherapy to treat his AML, and like Jade is waiting for his ANC to rise from 0... I can't even imagine.  

Jade looks so happy now, so healthy. I cherish every moment we have together. And yet, rest does not come easily.  I continue to spend a lot of time reading about Jade's leukemia -- I want to be informed so that we can be actively involved in her treat, know what questions to ask.  But, I also don't want to scare myself anymore than I already am... there are some discouraging statistics out there.  Early on, one doctor told us why he doesn't place much emphasis on statistics when speaking with families: "If Jade's leukemia had a 90% cure rate, but she ended up in the 10% that doesn't get cured, what difference does the other 90% make to you? Our goal is for every child to be cured, so we look at and treat each child's case of leukemia individually. Those numbers don't dictate how we treat our patients; we don't take anyone for granted or write anyone off." 

There was immediate comfort in hearing that... even though the stats still dance around in my head (AML has a 50-60% cure rate in children).  I've found even more comfort and strength after sitting with Hafiz and speaking with his mom; after finding "Little Air Bear," an awesome little girl who was diagnosed with AML-M7 and spent 146 days in the hospital and has been at home -- cancer free for over a year; after finding Charlotte online, another amazing little girl who was diagnosed with AML-M7 at two-years-old and has been cancer free now for a year after a bone marrow transplant; and after stumbling across Starla, an amazing three-year-old who just headed home after experiencing heart complications from the chemotherapy that rid her blood and marrow of the AML-M7, on Youtube and then speaking with her mother on the phone.   I thank God for giving me the courage to overcome my fear of reaching out to other families; there is an unbelievable amount of inspiration and strength that I've found in them and their journeys. Thank you for keeping our family in your prayers and thoughts... please send a prayer up for all of these brave, young cancer warriors. 

~ Taneika