Days 21 & 22; Chemo Round 2 :: A Breath of Fresh Air

We were so excited about
our "outing" that we forgot
to grab a camera... You'll have
to take our word for it!

Yesterday's lab work came back: the blood cultures are negative (!!). So, while we're still not sure what caused the fevers, we know it's nothing bacterial or fungal.  I count myself among the world's best worriers in the world -- I do have a knack for visioning bad, worse, worst -- so the lab results were able to settle an otherwise restless 48 hours for me.

We did a victory lap around our room, then the unit. But for some reason, our home away from home for 72 days and nights so far this year seemed smaller than usual. I want Jade to actively remember and know that the world is bigger than 4 East.  Like most children, Jade continues to grow "curiouser and curiouser."  She barges into unlocked offices on the unit; waltzes into other patient rooms. Despite my better judgement, I asked a nurse if I could take Jade to the cafeteria on the second floor.  After a few calls, that proposal was shot down.  There are a billion people from all over in the cafeteria and with an ANC of zero, it was too risky.

A pic of the hot air balloons from the
hospital website... I forgot my camera,
remember?

There was a silver lining though.  I could take her to the Atrium to see the hot air balloons if she wore her mask and I exercised prudent judgement. So, armed with a mask and hand sanitizer to-go, we made our way to the elevator bank and down to the first floor toward the Atrium.  I won't get into all the details of this trip, because I'm so anxious to get to the really good part.  We arrived in the Atrium only to find some type of special marketplace/vendor fair going on. Too many people.  I pointed at the hot air balloons (a really cool indoor feature), and turned around to go back upstairs. Much shorter trip than I expected but Jade seemed to enjoy just walking another hall ... and riding the elevator.

A nurse checked in on us later to find out how the "outing" went.  I was grateful for getting off of the floor, but slightly disappointed by the brevity of the trip.  "How'd you like to go outside for five minutes?"  Wait, what?!? We can go outside. No, normally you can't. But because you'll be with me, it'll be okay.  There were a million questions I should've asked before grabbing her mask and blurting out, "Grab your shoes, Jade!" But, those questions went unasked.  The nurse lead us on what was probably a five minute walk to the other side of the hospital (literally) that houses a key card access only garden/outdoor space in the administrative wing.  We had the space all to ourselves.  Serene. Intimate. Beautiful. Green. Jade just stood there -- I think in shock.  She rubbed her eyes a bit as she adjusted to the natural light and stood there quietly, soaking up the sun and with a light wind on her head.  (Remember, I'm a big worrier and even bigger softie, so I shed a couple of tears as I reflected on the fact that  this little girl has not been outside to enjoy the sunlight, the fresh air since, since... ) We walked around for a bit, with me eagerly pointing out everything to Jade -- the amazing view of the reservoir, the trees, the warm sunlight, the Mickey Mouse statue.  Mickey prompted her to break her silence. "Mitty!," she almost whispered. He was probably much bigger than she had imagined. :) Alas, it was time to return to our room.  As soon as we left the garden and crossed the threshold, Jade turned around to point and half stated/half pleaded, "Outside.(?)"

I am so grateful to the nurse for thinking outside of the box and helping Jade leave behind the fluorescent lights and central air for a moment, and enjoy what I will remember as one of the most beautiful spring days. (Jaytoe and I agree, the only thing more natural than the outdoors is children being and playing outdoors. One day soon, when we are not effectively living at the hospital anymore, we will be throwing our energy behind support for a healing garden at Children's National Medical Center... children who are hospitalized for long stays need to be able to get a breath of fresh air. Or, as that awesome nurse put it, "Flowers need their sunshine.")

Thanks for checking in on Jade and keeping her in your thoughts and prayers.  We're still waiting on some movement from Jade's stubborn ANC (15 days after an 8-day round of chemo, it's still at 0 and must rise above 250 for us to go home for a break before the next round... yes, there are a few math problems in there for Little Jay, who will thank me later... much later.)